"I love entertaining, but I also sometimes love shutting the fuck up" - Sabrina Carpenter
“Gossip peddled as fact” - since 2000. Send us goss, tips & trivia
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This week:
* Shagging over the fences
* Lonely Robert Peston
* PLUS: Kim Cattrall’s scat past
>> Cee-List <<
Get Ur Freak On
Supposedly much has changed since the 90s. But perhaps the culture around rap stars hasn’t entirely moved on from their horny heyday.
Brit rap star Central Cee’s festival rider for this summer contains... “eight (8) packets of Plan-B One Step emergency contraceptive for women”.
***Limited run - 7 weeks only - Good Night, Oscar transfers from Broadway to the Barbican from 31 July. Sean Hayes (Will & Grace) returns to his Tony Award-winning performance as the troubled and wickedly funny 1950s musical genius Oscar Levant. "There’s a fine line between genius and insanity; I have erased this line", said Oscar, as he embarks on a shocking interview live on The Tonight Show. Don't miss this, it's the theatre event of the summer***
>> Bright Futures <<
She’s coming home
It's nice that women's football has projected a different, more wholesome and supportive image than men's football. But we're also delighted to know that behind the scenes a similar level of competitive tension exists alongside this.
England superstar Millie Bright said she walked away from this summer’s Euros to protect her mental health. Fair play to her for that. Protecting herself, to some degree, from the fallout from splitting from her fiance and shacking up with a married dad-of seven kickboxer seems entirely sensible.
But one aspect of the story didn't surface. One of the reasons Bright isn't hanging around for the Euros is thanks to a conversation with the England head coach which got rather heated when Bright was informed she wasn’t going to be a first-choice starter.
Sources say that relationships might have hit the point of no return when that well known football phrase containing the two words “Fuck” and “Off” was used.
Bad week for animals: Lewis Hamilton totalled a groundhog in the Canadian Grand Prix and Thailand lost its only zoo Indian rhino. 40 year old Kali died of a uterine infection.
>> Big Question <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which football reporter has somehow managed to cling on to his job despite a NYE arrest for domestic assault and staff at the club he covers expressing strong reservations about him still being on their premises?
(Anyone know more about it? WhatsApp us, email us, DM us).
Your heatwave saviour is here: Lucky Saint - the UK's #1 rated alcohol-free beer! Your BBQs, golden hour walks, and days in the park are perfectly paired with a refreshing Lucky Saint. Popbitches get £10 off their first order
>> Pic of the Crop <<
Political Lightweights
Newly-minted MPs were once warned about one particularly unpleasant side-effect of their life in Westminster. Not meeting nutcase constituents or dealing with dweeby spads, but weight gain.
The infamous ‘parliament stone’ once referred to the 14-ish pounds new MPs packed on in the first year of office, thanks to cheap rich food and unsociably late hours.
But thanks to Ozempic that inevitability is no more. In fact so many politicians are on it that MPs have a new side-effect to worry about: ozempic face.
Parliament is so addicted to the jab - and so many politicians are on it - that the new stress is about their suddenly sunken faces appearing on TV. Especially the men.
Spotted at London Zoo: Robert Peston, walking around, looking intently at the parrots. He was on his own.
>> YIMBYS <<
Everybody needs good neighbours
The celebrity enclaves of Notting Hill are famously cosy. The musicians live next to the musicians, the Scots live next to the Scots, the film stars live next to the film stars…
But sometimes even the cosiest communities can become too close for comfort. One famous Hibernian actor used to sneak through the gap in his fence to shag his next door neighbour’s wife, a prominent casting director.
The affair went on for years, but eventually the actor’s wife found out and outed him in front of both family. The casting director got dumped, but the other couple stayed together.
Neighbours, eh!
Spotted getting takeaway at a vegan Italian Korean fusion restaurant on Brick Lane... Azealia Banks. Her dish of choice was a kimchi lasagne.
>> Hitchen A Ride <<
Absolute Fruitcake
W writes:
“I was on a train from London to Oxford and controversial Mail on Sunday columnist Peter Hitchens was onboard.
“Due to short staffing, it took much longer than usual for the first class complimentary refreshment trolley to come through the train.
“Impatient, Peter, who had been looking down the aisle not impressed with its progress, realised that his stop was imminent.
“So he proceeded to march down the carriage and politely request his complimentary refreshments directly from the steward.
“What did he select? A piece of fruitcake.”
Fancy reading a cosy crime novel about the publishing world from an industry insider? A NOVEL MURDER by E.C. Nevin is perfect for fans of YELLOWFACE and THE THURSDAY MURDER CLUB and is out today.
>> Super Furry Animals <<
A nightmare for future comic-cons
Production companies are hell for using pseudonyms for upcoming blockbuster films they want to avoid press attention for. (Return of the Jedi was known as ‘Blue Harvest’, Captain America was ‘Sputnik’ etc.)
And Animal Friends, a weird live action but also animated road film starring Ryan Reynolds and Jason Momoa was, we’re told, hidden under the unfortunate fake name of “Furries”.
It took a while for staff to pick up on why their emails keep getting marked as “adult content” and sent to junk mailboxes.
Using the seat-filler sites for a London Q&A this week: Academy Award nominated actor, and noted snow plow amateur - Jeremy Renner.
>> Kim, Aggy <<
Clean Diva down
PBHQ is in mourning this week following the death of Kim Woodburn, but at least it gives us an excuse to share this anecdote.
In her heyday Kim was hired for a brand campaign, and so was booked in for a straightforward radio recording day at a studio in central London. So far so good.
That was until Kim arrived. She came in like a whirlwind, revealing she had been given the wrong address and shouting and screaming at the poor PR. The address wasn't wrong, but Kim was adamant it was.
The PR spent a desperate 30 minutes trying to calm Kim down, while the celeb just pointed her sharp nails in her face and deployed her signature: “Don’t get smart with me missy.”
When she finally got into the radio booth Kim was the consummate professional.
Except for the quiet moments between recordings when, with her mic still on, she relived the morning's incident over and over again - “I said to her, ‘You gave me the wrong address. Don't get smart with me, missy’” - playing both parts of the exchange.
A press release from the Dignity in Dying campaign this week had an unfortunate first line. "We've just gone live!"
>> Bad Vibrations <<
A belated Father’s Day message
Back in the late 80s Brian Wilson had a mini-tour of the States plugging his album ‘Love & Mercy’.
He was still at the time under the ‘guidance’ of psychotherapist charlatan Dr Eugene Landy. Brian was nervous. It was his first public performance for some time. Landy advised him to walkabout backstage area and introduce himself to everyone he saw.
Brian took his advice and liked the feeling of connection. He walked up to one woman, proffering his hand for a handshake saying, “Hi, I’m Brian Wilson, pleased to meet you”.
To which the young lady replied, “Hi Dad, good to see you, my name’s Carnie”.
Nicola Beckham-Peltz has a brother called Diesel.
>> Scatmen <<
I couldn’t help but wonder
Kim Cattrall has been giving interviews this week saying she turned down Samantha in Sex and the City four times before accepting the iconic role.
Definitely a wise decision.
Because at the same time, she was having a go at being a scat-singing jazz duo with her musician ex-husband, Mark Levinson.
Would you rather spend a night with Britain’s most offensive comedian or an Easter weekend with David Icke? A summer raving in Ukraine or farming marijuana in California?
Dispatch is the new online magazine delivering reports from the world’s frontiers — straight to your inbox, twice a week.
[Subscribe today]
>> Hmms <<
Internet bright spots of the week
Helen Flanagan’s house is up for sale
[Nice gaff]
‘Locals stand up after bench removal’
[Headline of the year]
Donald Trump’s military parade hit by seat-filler scam
[Happens to the best of us]
A trip to the most basic nightclub in London
[Read on The Fence]
It’s all kicking off in Waverley
[Local journalism’s not dead]
Telegraph writer nominative determinism of the week
[Crisp on crisps]
Thanks to: The Pianoman, Dave, Misha, MRT, W, NJT, Garvan, Baron Von Oompah, FM, AA, BJ, ML, NP
*An explainer for why we’ve moved this week’s advertising promo down from above the logo to under the first story - we’re working on a theory that deliverability has been impacted by ISPs scanning the top and thinking this is promotional, advertising or spam rather than a bonafide scandalrag. Bear with us…
Old Jokes Home
Just got fired from my job at the ice cream factory. I refused to work on sundaes.
Still Bored?
This website simulates the murmurations of starling flocks
[Peaceful birdies]
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