Not heading to Glastonbury but want more than BBC coverage? Trade tents for turf. Britpop legend Richard Ashcroft takes the stage at Newmarket Racecourse this Friday (27th) ahead of his support slot for Oasis. And the hits keep coming: Tom Jones headlines Haydock Park, Merseyside, 4th July (and across the country July/August). Even better news? Tickets & hospitality are decently priced and include an excellent card of horse racing.
“An 18-year-old should not have had access to the money I had access to” - Jojo Siwa
“Gossip peddled as fact” - since 2000. Send us tips & trivia
email hello@popbitch.com, WhatsApp +44 7923 619540 or DM Instagram
This week:
* BA Gets Gakky
* Glastonbury Tales
* PLUS: Russell Martin’s crystal ball
>> Safe Bet <<
A deeper shade of blue
Football manager musical chairs is a difficult game to predict. Not just for the pundits and the fans, but for managers themselves too.
This time last year Russell Martin was one of the most feted young managers; he’d just got Southampton back in the Premier League. Russell was just as convinced of his own greatness. He spent the summer telling his mates that he was a shoo-in to succeed Pep Guardiola at Manchester City.
By December with only five points in the bag he was no longer Southampton manager. But at least there was an upside, this summer he was indeed free to succeed... Barry Ferguson at Glasgow Rangers.
An inadvertently gakky email from British Airways this week helping their customers “feel fresh” while flying to music festivals. One tip was to “pass the mirror”.
>> [APPLAUSE] <<
It’s a Carr crash
There's an interesting new feature on the Blue Light Card app (for NHS and front-line staff) where you can enter a ballot for free tickets to comedy, music and sports gigs.
A nice perk, but worth noting that it doesn't seem to be a competition - there isn't a set number of tickets to be won and you can choose the venue and date. Using our powers of deduction, it’s reasonable to say, then, that it looks a bit like a seat-filling service.
If so, Jimmy Carr is massively underselling, as loads of his gigs are listed.
J-Lo’s doomed tour is currently headed to Spain, but just two weeks before her Malaga concert the venue’s been changed to a smaller arena.
>> Big Question <<
Who’s asking what this week
The summer heat must be getting to inhabitants of the Westminster Village; at which popular hostelry last week could you have spotted a GB presenter disappearing into the bushes with a print journo while inside the pub you'd have seen two married* Tory MPs snogging furiously? (*Married yes, but not to each other).
Smash-hit National Theatre production of Till The Stars Come Down transfers to the West End. Strictly limited 13-week run from 1 July. It’s Sylvia and Marek’s wedding and you’re all invited.... But what next? Special Popbitch reader exclusive offer 1st July-2 Aug - £25 and £40 seats.
>> Sir Becks <<
Not a chilly reception
David Beckham’s queue etiquette knows no bounds.
Dutifully waiting 12 hours to pay his respects to the queen; it was not unreasonable to assume that was a sort-of job interview for a Knighthood.
But it’s not changed now he’s finally Sir Becks.
He was spotted at Anya Hindmarch’s Instagram trap, Ice Cream Project, in Knightsbridge. Along with daughter Harper he queued with the other punters, was charming to staff and public alike and bought iconic, Knighthood-friendly British flavours like Bisto, Twiglets, Ovaltine and Irn-bru.
The staff there reported quite the contrast in manners between the Beckhams and rubbish influencers with 5k followers attempting to queue jump on the back of their “fame”.
A Norwich City steward has won a legal case against the club, after being sacked. He mistakenly sent to his boss a mocked-up image of Nicola Sturgeon holding a sign saying "Russell Brand Touched My Cunt".
>> Girl, interrupted <<
Phones to silent, please
The Royal Court is currently hosting the 25th anniversary of 4.48 Psychosis.
Sarah Kane's last play - first performed posthumously, it's an intensely emotional experience. (As the Guardian's Michael Billington wrote while reviewing it in 2000 - "How on earth do you award aesthetic points to a 75-minute suicide note?")
Every night the theatre is full of determined and committed theatregoers absorbing this "deeply personal howl of pain".
On Tuesday night, however, this absorption was briefly disrupted when someone's phone went off in the front row. It loudly blared an alarm, slap-bang in the middle of an evocative monologue.
The culprit - who did have the grace to look very, very sheepish - David Walliams.
Spotted at Cafe Oto this week for the Claire Rousay gig: Alejandro Inarritu, flipping through the vinyl and taking photos of the ones he liked.
>> Slackjawed <<
Advertising 2025-style
Every wondered what YouTubers and influencers get paid to shill for brands?
Well, the going rate for “food and travel documentarians” Topjaw to do a single video? £30,000.
That’s what they asked for, via their agent, for one clip filmed in Southwark.
We’re all very much in the wrong game…
It’s not just production companies that use pseudonyms to avoid press and fan attention. When planning the top secret LEGO BrickHeadz Spice Girls project the company codename was: Project Curry.
>> The Sun Also Rises <<
Yet more Talk of Reform
What to do with the runt of the News UK broadcasting litter, namely Talk. Perhaps another name change?
The radio station that was once known as Talk Radio, switched to a TV format called Talk TV with a LOT of money spent on it (it lost £150m in two years) then reverted to a bizarre radio / online hybrid called Talk, is rumoured to be getting refreshed and linked more closely to The Sun newspaper.
Don’t be surprised to see it re-emerge as SunTalk, complete with more Reform Party-esque views than its current more pluralistic incarnation.
Adam’s hot gay summer is in full swing, and things could be a lot worse. But when his best friend and housemate gets engaged d and moves out he realises all his friends are settled. Secure. And… happy. How exactly did that happen? Get Happy is a one-man glitter bomb of a show, at Omnibus Theatre, London, 1-12 July, part of 96 Festival, a spectacular celebration of queerness and theatre.
>> Game’s Gone <<
They think it’s all over
Kevin Keegan has a new career as an after-dinner and conference speaker.
His schtick? A very unlikely on-stage powerpoint presentation comprised of motivational quotes.
At one flash charity gala recently, the audience was perhaps more interested in the champagne and less interested in trite sub-Ted Talk homilies.
So Keegan got the hump at the crowd's lack of interest and just walked off stage.
Dan Wootton spotted in a lounge at Heathrow Airport. Anon writes: “He just loaded up a massive plate of nachos covered in toppings, made the biggest mess absolutely everywhere”.
>> Let It Pee <<
Glastonbury Tales
Glastonbury 2004 featured Paul McCartney as headliner. To prepare for the gig, Macca brought along his very own deluxe single portaloo for backstage.
This portaloo remained locked through the festival, unless the great man himself needed to relieve himself.
Halfway through the day of his performance, some wag stuck a sign on its door.
It read: "Paul's Posh Poo Parlour”.
Bob Geldof arrived a tad late for Alan Yentob's funeral. He ended up sprinting into the crematorium, tripping up in the process.
>> Happy Days <<
Twisting more than her melons
Back in an era when transgression was almost mandatory for rock stars, rather than an HR file waiting to happen, Happy Mondays played Glastonbury.
Their set was enlivened by a streaker (an action which gave her the highly original nickname, the Glastonbury Streaker) and a louche version of Hallelujah ended with Shaun Ryder shouting that he’d had enough and was “fucking off”. Which he duly did.
The GS and her mates became friendly with the band, and ended up on their tourbus. One of the girls had a huge growth on her face which drooped below her chin. Ryder, sensing a challenge, proceeded to try to stick his cock in between the growth and her neck, then go at it in front of all the crew.
Fun for all the family!
Stuck for summer plans? Official London Theatre’s Kids Week has you covered. From 21 July – 31 August, children 17 and under go free to top London shows with a full-paying adult. (T&Cs apply)..
>> Hmms <<
Internet bright spots of the week
It looks like the Gino D’Acampo family home is up for sale
[Got £2.45m?]
Robbie Williams has done the first ever official FIFA anthem.
[Desire]
We’re no doubt breaking his Article 8 rights; but here's a beaver caught farting on video.
[Needs Sound on]
Here’s a map that says it can find cool spaces in the London heat. [Good luck]
The world’s drunk Japan dry of matcha.
[Oops]
Think you can’t make a movie out of the 2002 falling out between Mick McCarthy and Roy Keane?
[Think again]
Thanks to: JM, Dom, RV, RJ, TD, Jimmy Chew, Olly, DN, Deep_Stoat SS, O, Spank_Daley, A, kittenheel, RS, SC, D
RIP one of PBs great friends: Celebs Go Dating star Eden Blackman. Years ago, back when he was a top radio plugger, somehow Eden agreed to promote our PB/Readers Wifes "Bitch at the Brits" single, then when he launched dating app Would Like To Meet, who else could he get in to run their quiz nights and socials but the Popbitch crew? We all miss him. Big hugs.
Still Bored?
Kiki & Herb, 3 – 5 July, Soho Theatre. Wild, political, and unlike anything else, New York cabaret legends Kiki & Herb make their long-awaited return to London this July. PB readers get £20 tickets
Old Jokes Home
My Spanish friend’s son is now four and still cannot say "please".
That's poor for four, eh?
*** WhatsApp us some goss on +44 7923 619540. We're also on Instagram and our DMs are open. ***