Romeo Supreme
#1269
Deals like this don’t come around often. Laylo’s socially acceptable boxed rosé is FREE (yes, you heard right) on all orders over £30 until midnight Wednesday 4th February. Say goodbye to Dry Jan with wine chosen by a Master of Wine that lasts 6 weeks once open - perfect for if you’re easing yourself into February.
“Honestly, you’ve never met somebody that wants to be gay as much as me” - Robbie Williams
* Brett Ratner’s Back Catalogue
* Matt Goodwin Goes A Bit OnlyFans
* PLUS: Who’s using seat-fillers this week?
“Today programme for tittle-tattle” - since 2000. Send us tips & trivia, via email, WhatsApp +44 7923 619540 or DM on Instagram.
>> Barbed <<
Super freaky girl
Now that Nicki Minaj has seemingly retired as a popstar to become a full-blown deranged MAGA influencer, culture mags on both sides of the Atlantic can breathe a sigh of relief that they won’t have to work with her anymore.
Nicki is known for her horrible behaviour on set and during interviews. Her recent appearance at a Trump press conference has led to the resurfacing of a 10-year old disaster for the cover of New York Times Magazine, when Nicki attacked the journalist mid-interview.
The magazine led their eventual cover with a full apology, but perhaps they shouldn’t have been so hasty. Nicki has form for shutting down vehicles meant to promote her.
When she shot another cover for a British fashion quarterly years later, Nicki showed up hours late on set, shouted at an assistant until she broke down in tears and then chucked a wig at her. The assistant was so horrified, and so determined to lodge a complaint, that the cover almost didn’t run.
Rod Stewart spotted this week in Crouch End’s dirtiest/best Irish pub, McCafferty’s. “Chatting with the locals and drinking Guinness, in a hoodie. It wasn’t karaoke night, alas.”
>> Romeo Supreme <<
Keeping score with the Beckhams
Brooklyn may be the only Beckham child to have gone public with his woes, but he’s not the only one to have them.
Despite the almost-daily Stockholm Syndrome Brand Beckham family photoshoots it seems unlikely the rest of the brood emerged entirely unscathed from their childhoods lived in the public eye.
Someone who found themselves on a big summer group holiday a few years back discovered that one of the kids in the villa was Romeo Beckham.
They described the middle Becks brother as “sweet, spoiled, anxious, but enjoyed playing table tennis”. They also said Romeo was suffering from a blinking tic in one of his eyes at the time. From stress and feeling the pressure of constantly being recognised.
Nominative Determinism of the Week, Winter Olympics Edition: Former bobsleigh athlete and author Colin H. Snowball.
>> Big Question <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which British A-lister, whose family-friendly reputation has taken a bit of a hit in recent weeks, has a strict rule for tradespeople working on his estate?
They’re told they are not allowed to look at him, speak to him, or make any contract with him at all. If they do their contracts will be immediately terminated.
Pick My Postcode is the UK’s FREE daily lottery. Over half of UK’s postcodes are now registered, so your neighbours might win some money without you, if you don’t sign up now. Simply enter your postcode and check back daily. Over £3m has been won so far, probably by your neighbours.
>> Bye Election <<
(More) Reformed characters
In a huge shock to absolutely no one - not least readers of Popbitch - academic-turned-GB News-host Matt Goodwin has officially been announced as Reform candidate in the forthcoming by-election in Greater Manchester.
And he’ll be hoping for a bit of nominative determinism (“good win”, get it?). Already some of Reform’s claims about Goodwin seem a little dodgy - they’re saying he’s ‘Made In Manchester’, which is surprising given he grew up in St Albans, moved to Nottingham, worked in Kent and settled in Finchley, then Hitchin. (OK, so he did go to university there...)
Still, it’s nice to see Matt has settled his political goals, which were previously a bit loftier than the glamour of Denton and Gorton. Back in 2024 he hosted a swanky party to celebrate hitting 30,000 subscribers on Substack (poor fuckers). Then Matt regaled all of his guests at a ballroom in Mayfair with his great plans to launch a new political party.
The only catch? Embracing an OnlyFans style mentality, Matt said he’d only do it when he reached 100k subscribers. Please, not all at once guys!
FYI: While at university Matt Goodwin was famous for losing money in poker games as a result of making very risky all-in bets.
Fun fact: before Jim Hacker became an MP in “Yes, Minister”, the character was the editor of a newspaper called... Reform!
>> Do His Bins? <<
Sun sets on the good/bad old days
Despite Prince Harry, Liz Hurley et al trying to keep the British tabloids back in the news at the High Court, the reality is their time has gone.
Those freewheeling days are well and truly over at The Sun. In fact staff have just this week found out that the Fabulous magazine team is being subsumed into features, with everyone expected to reapply for their jobs, while it looks like their long (and separately) feared news and showbiz desks are being merged too.
Some Fleet Street hacks look back fondly at their heyday. Back when Kelvin MacKenzie was editor of the Sun, campaigns were much easier to greenlight. We’re told MacKenzie returned from a short holiday to find his underlings had begun a crusade against a corporate bigwig. Bemused, he asked the team, “Why are we doing this?”
The editorial explanation? “Because he’s a cunt, Kelvin.”
“Right”, came the response. “Let’s get him.”
One Battle After Another star Chase Infiniti was named after Nicole Kidman’s character in Batman Forever, Dr Chase Meridian, and Buzz Lightyear’s catchphrase “To infinity, and beyond!”
>> Trashing it out <<
Baboon vs Badger 2026
Joe Wicks is the latest sleb to weigh in on the biggest question of our times: who would win in a fight between a baboon and badger?
(People have been debating the merits of both animals since the Brighton Argus tried to get PM David Cameron on it in a readers Q&A.)
During a live recipe for chicken, leek and butterbean pie Joe and daughter Leni offered their opinions.
Both agreed a baboon would triumph, but only after three-year old Leni did first suggest a third option. An elephant.
The debate rumbles on.
Using the seat-filling services this week? Sajid Javid, desperate to sell some tickets for his aptly named Intelligence Squared lecture, “The Unlikely Politician”.
>> Accio Arse <<
Disappearing act
AB writes: “In the 1990s, my now-wife worked part-time at a dry cleaners in Wisconsin while she was in college.
“David Copperfield came in and dropped off his trousers. One would have assumed he would have had a personal assistant drop them off to keep his little trick secret - as the trousers had big old padded arse cheeks sewn in.”
FYI: Dave’s not the only padder in celebrity history. Frank Sinatra was famously over-blessed in the front-trouser department but used arsepads to fill out his sailor uniforms in Anchors Aweigh and On The Town.
Fancy playing a monthly at-home Popbitch Quiz for FREE? it’s one of the perks of being in Club Popbitch. Sign up in the next 7 days and we’ll send you January’s quiz as a joining bonus. Includes Traitors-themed Audio Round! Walliams-themed making round! Trivia! Plus: Jazz Band or Jazz Mag?
>> Wild West <<
Fanning the flames
After flames billowed out across west London on Monday, Kensington Roof Gardens lives to fight another day, with surprisingly minimal damage.
This was not the club’s first setback. When the owners converted the old club atop this listed building into a chic new space a couple of years back they neglected to apply for listed planning consent, leading Kensington & Chelsea Council to get angry and order them to undo a bunch of works.
Plus various denizens of the Daily Mail Group in the floors below, many of whom were evacuated on Monday, have since emailed in to complain that since KRG opened, a smell of weed often percolated down and that the fire alarm in the club was forever going off. So, perhaps it would be useful for club bosses to pay a little more attention to detail.
Kensington Roof Gardens was bought and re-launched by Stephen Fitzpatrick who also owns energy provider Ovo. Apparently Soho House turned down his membership application so he started KRG just to spite them.
It’s like that Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Spite Store season come to life!
Overheard: David Miliband, deep in conversation on the corner of St James’s Square outside Chatham House, telling someone that “Jim’ll fix it”.
>> Melania’s Big Opening <<
Ratner by name, Ratner by nature
Jeff Bezos’ arselicky Melania documentary isn’t just blowing cobwebs through cinema screens, it’s also resurrected the career of its director Brett Ratner.
Or “accused sex pest Brett Ratner” as much of the film coverage describes him.
The less said about the movie itself the better (until we’ve seen it) but it’s nonetheless worth remembering that Ratner was no one-note #MeToo name. He was a proper Hollywood legend of ick.
Lost his gig producing the 2012 Oscars when he announced that “rehearsals are for fags”.
Boasted to Howard Stern about his talent for oral sex (as practiced on a rather young Lindsey Lohan).
Liked to talk about the size of his balls and his sperm count in interviews.
Was the guy that Olivia Munn once saw wanking over a plate of prawns.
This week 16,000 layoffs at Amazon were announced, along with the decimation of the Bezos-owned WaPo (foreign correspondents grounded etc). At the same time Amazon Prime also announced a $35m ad spend on Melania - including a wraparound of the Sphere, Las Vegas - and record profits! Swings and roundabouts, eh.
>> Mr Universe <<
Maybe the day after tomorrow
With all the general belt-tightening of the music industry, we were delighted to see that Radio 2 stalwart Emin was launching his new album with a blowout showcase at the glitzy Bulgari Hotel, Knightsbridge this week.
If your first thoughts are that this is pretty high-end for an artist you may not really remember, then don’t fear. You do know of Emin.
Emin was the Russian entrepreneur behind that Miss Universe contest in Moscow, 2013. The one Donald Trump was invited over to attend. The one where he was given the presidential suite at the Ritz-Carlton. And the one where (according to rumour and Steele Dossier) Trump watched two prostitutes pee on a bed that the Obamas previously slept in.
And even more traumatically, Emin recently has had to deal with the fallout from that attack on the Crocus concert hall that his family owned, which resulted in 150 fatalities.
So it’s nice to see him back doing the thing he loves best - crooning.
The album in question, Maybe Tomorrow, is a collection of Emin’s favourite songs, produced by David Foster (16 Grammys, Gigi and Bella Hadid’s stepfather) featuring Sheila E, Richard Marx, Andrea Corr and... Amanda Holden!
South Londoners - celebrate the end of Dry January with our friends at Planet of the Grapes. Between next Tuesday-Thursday next week (3rd-5th Feb) if you go tell the bar staff “Popbitch saved my life!” You’ll get 2 glasses of wine for the price of 1.
>> Hmms <<
Internet bright spots of the week
Kanye West paid for an apology ad in the Wall Street Journal
[Here’s the full text]
A two-year-old just broke a Guinness World Record for snooker trick shots
[This is his big break (sorry)]
The Doomsday Clock is now 86 seconds from midnight
[That can’t be good]
Here’s the full Robbie Williams interview where he talks about wanting to be gay
[On The Guardian]
Want to buy US residency? All you need is a million quid
[Thanks to the defnitely not corrupt Trump gold card!]
The gay ice hockey drama is a huge hit in Russia
[...A notoriously relaxed country for LGBT people]
Want more insider info into London’s nightlife scene?
[Check out Seth Thévoz’s excellent Clubland Substack]
Thanks to: S, Pauline, Gentleman Thug, AB, PH, NB, aglio_olio, GP, SB, SC, pauline, S, CPL
Old Jokes Home
I hate Russian Dolls. They're so full of themselves.
Still Bored?
Someone has synced the Wicked soundtrack to this rollercoaster simulator: Defying Sanity.