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“Sean Connery was gorgeous. I necked him.” - Jilly Cooper
* Private Viewing at Peter Andre’s
* Lamb Round James Nesbitt’s
* PLUS: Remembering Paul Danan
>> He’s The One <<
Monkey see monkey do
Looks like there's a new Robbie William's talent show in the works (god help us).
Richard Bacon appeared to spill the beans on plans for the upcoming show on his Instagram story this week, sharing a picture of a whiteboard planning out a talent show which will feature: “ROBBIE SONGS ONLY.”
Other (confusing) highlights audiences can expect include ‘Angels’ as the finale song, a ‘TikTok wall’, and a ‘deckchair moment’.
Most exciting of the wall, the winner will be signed by Ayda Fields, a producer and Robbie Williams’s wife.
The Voice must be shitting themselves.
Richard Ayoade isn't the only celeb at posh Peckham butchers Flock and Herd. It’s also frequented by a (usually very sweaty) James Nesbitt. He usually orders lamb.
>> Fake i-D <<
Flops, not critics
Given that it’s the brainchild of supermodel Karlie Kloss these days, you can’t expect Mensa-level articles from i-D Magazine.
But still, their recent Sofia Coppola cover went down like a bit of a damp squib, with most of the internet poking fun at the design of the imagery and the magazine’s… choice quotes about being a female director.
”Before Sofia Coppola, movies were about men”, i-D boldly claims.
The humble brag-ified interview also bears a marked resemblance to another Sofia Coppola cover story, from Polyester late last year. Maybe nobody secured talent exclusivity. Or it could just be coincidental.
BBC political editor Chris Mason has a pencil case. And a Yorkshire Tea branded school bag.
>> Big Question <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which pop icon recently performed at an awards show wearing a face covering?
They claimed it was an aesthetic choice, but industry rumour has gone into overdrive that the popstar in question — who has also been rumoured to have long been telling people she’s younger than she actually is — had a quick threadlift before the awards show in question. The scars and swelling = veil, so the story goes.
“By the time you read this, I’ll be dead…” When DI Declan Walsh opens a letter lost for twenty years, the truth could bring down the next Prime Minister... Letter From The Dead – the unmissable first thriller in the bestselling DI Declan Walsh series by New York Times #1 Bestseller Tony Lee, writing as Jack Gatland.
[Order on Amazon]
>> DMGTBJ <<
Testing, is this thing on?
Podcasting. The sexiest gig in all of media.
At least, that’s the case over in Kensington, where rumour has it two staffers were recently caught with their pants down in one of DMGT's podcast rooms.
The pair allegedly went in for a frisky touch-and-feel session in the studio - without realising the room's mics were constantly recording.
Unfortunately they were still very much broadcasting. Woe betide the poor producers who had to endure hearing one of the pair urging the other: ”touch it, it's hard”.
JK Rowling vapes furiously.
>> Ja-fakin’ It <<
Oscar for Andre
CT writes:
“I was one of the first people to watch Jafaican. I paid to go. Doubt any press were invited. Here’s my take:
“The film isn’t racist, just daft. My friend and I were actually in a minority of white people — about 98% of the audience was black. The film had many Jamaican cultural references that flew right over our heads, but everyone else was laughing.
“When Peter Andre wasn’t wearing the Rasta wig, he just looked like Peter Andre—wearing his own clothes and swearing too much. He also had the best line of the film: after a $5 million hit is put on him, he declares, “I’d kill myself for $5 million.”
“There was a pre-recorded Q&A afterwards with Peter Andre and director/actor Fredi Nwaka. The most interesting bit was when Fredi said he ordered “olive-skinned” Peter to stay out of the sun during filming in Jamaica because he didn’t want his skin to get darker.
“Apparently Peter hosted his own private viewing yesterday in Bethnal Green. Sadly no invite to that.”
Spotted: Emma Watson at Somers Town Coffee House, not drinking or eating anything on a table full of friends doing just that.
>> Music Weak <<
Same old tunes
Music industry consultant Sammy Andrews wrote a regular column for Music Week for years, but recently defected to Music Business Worldwide.
When Music Week found out, they threw absolutely all their toys out of the pram - saying they'd no longer cover any campaigns Sammy was working and that she'd only got into MBW as a "diversity hire".
TBH perhaps Music Week could learn from a "diversity hire" approach. Until relatively recently there were zero women on editorial staff at Music Week – just white men. There is now one woman on staff – in a junior position.
So, what was Sammy’s first column for Music Business Worldwide about? Misogyny in the music business.
Nominative Determinism of the Week: Time Team Anglo-Saxon expert… Dr Geake.
>> BBC’ll Fix It <<
Hiding in plain sight
Stories of fallen idols continue at PBHQ. First it was Phillip Schofield, hastily removed in cardboard cut-out form at ITV towers. Then Bangers-era Miley Cyrus had her mural covered up by Disney. The BBC though, had bigger problems than that.
When the BBC’s MediaCity building first opened in Salford, no expense was spared on design.
The wallpaper was specially created, filled with famous classic BBC faces from days gone by. Think Valerie Singleton, old Doctor Whos, and of course, Jimmy Savile.
In the time it took to get the decorators in, internal comms spent a weekend sticking post-it notes over his face - which took bloody ages as it was in all three buildings.
Moving stuff is notoriously stressful, especially in London. Relōku exists to make it easier. Their award-winning AI tech means no minimum charges or hidden extras, while live tracking means no vague timings. Just reliable, on-demand, helpful urban movers!
>> Icebreakers <<
Holden on for dear life
Titanique (yes, that is a jukebox musical about the movie Titanic) is currently showing in the West End. Apparently it’s very good.
Mostly everyone in the audience seemed to enjoy a recent performance - with one notable exception.
During the play one of the actors, mid-performance, encouraged everyone to ruin Amanda Holden's night by asking her for selfies (she was sat very discreetly in the back of the crowd). Which they proceeded to do.
Spotted at Dulwich Teddy Bear’s Picnic: Jason Statham. Sadly not accompanied by a toy, although he was described as ‘having the air of a rumbunctious teddy bear’.
>> Cold House <<
Do-nut complain
All is not well in the Daily Mail’s New York outpost.
They had their first town hall this week, following months of uncertainty. It wasn’t good news - mandatory five days a week in the office with no review of benefits of paid sick leave. But at least they got to chow down on Daily Mail branded donuts before swallowing those bitter pills.
To add to the Bleak House vibe, staff in the NYC office are forever freezing as the AC is kept on all day long. It's not unusual to see employees wrapped in blankets at their desks.
Steven Bartlett’s company is looking for a new PA. The successful candidate’s duties include “[liaising] with stylists in the UK and US to ensure consistent personal presentation and readiness."
>> Bore Safari <<
Pedestrian Celeb Spots of the Week
Our quest to find the most sedate sleb spots continues. This week there were some strong submissions, including:
Keira Knightley in Saxmundham Waitrose this weekend, buying up loads of kids' chocolate snacks.
Jack Rooke and Lena Headey in Pret next to London Bridge station. They were browsing the cold drinks but left without making a purchase.
Russell Brand having breakfast at the Swiss Farm campsite cafe in Henley with a number of adoring cronies. (They were all middle aged men so no intervention was required).
And our personal favourite - Jason Sudeikis taking the Northern Line to King's Cross last Saturday. Baseball cap down, earpods in, wearing jeans that were “probably a bit too young for him on”.
Here at PBHQ we were huge fans of Paul Danan and were very sad when he passed away in January. This Saturday, a celebrity football match will honour Paul’s memory, with all proceeds going to Little Havens Children’s Hospice in Essex.
The cup will be renamed the Paul Danan Memorial Charity Cup. Check out this year’s team sheet and get tickets here.
>> Hmms <<
Internet bright spots of the week
Gail’s is gentrifying my neighbourhood complains Sophia Money-Coutts
[You already knew this was going to be a Telegraph link, didn’t you?]
John Bishop vs tech investor saddled with €1 million debt
[Read on the Irish Independent]
Ian Rush has created a Hamilton-style 90-minute AI musical
[Yes, really]
Name of the week - Paul Bastard has been appointed Supporter Liaison Officer for Torquay United
[Lucky Bastard]
Nik and Eva Speakman’s house is still for sale nearly a year on
[Can’t think why nobody’s snapped this one up yet]
And just in case you do fancy applying for that Steven Bartlett job
[Best of luck]
Thanks to: Cadoux, LD, The Pianoman, CK, CT, E, Suzy, The Earl of Essex, Fifi, Babs, G, CL,
Old Jokes Home
Q: Why did Manchester City FC plant potatoes round The Etihad Stadium?
A: So they'll have something to lift at the end of this season.
Still Bored?
The inside story of the avian errors in the Charlie’s Angels franchise. Seriously, one of the best/maddest things you can read this year
[Read on Slate]
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