Wanging It
#1287
HIT THAT PERFECT BEAT: THE LONDON RECORDS STORY concludes this week.
The series finale charts London Records’ last great pop moments (from the likes of All Saints and Sugababes), its decline and unexpected return. Those who lived it reflect on London Records’ true legacy: a label that took risks, changed pop culture, and created songs that still matter, decades on.
[Listen and Enjoy]
“I accept that I am very marmite” - Rebekah Vardy
* Kemi Rolls With It
* Bombing In Manchester
* PLUS: Popbitch Quiz Returns!
Stuff amusing us this week - since 2000. Send us tips & trivia, via email, WhatsApp +44 7923 619540 or DM on Instagram.
>> Peeved <<
The prodigal ghost returns
Peeves the Poltergeist was cut from the original Harry Potter films - where he was meant to be played by Rik Mayall.
But apparently he’s back for the new HBO series! Although plans are being kept under wraps, or at least attempts are being made at keeping it under wraps, leaks suggest the pesky poltergeist will be played presently by Peter Serafinowicz.
Try saying that after a few pints.
Hitting up the seat filler sites this week? Boyzone and S Club, offering up spots at 90% off face value ticket price. Ouch.
>> Treading On Tip Toes <<
A guide to reading the room
Channel 4 just held a star-studded screening of the first episode of Tip Toe in Manchester. It was attended by creator Russell T Davies, who welcomed all the well-known faces in the crowd by a short speech in which he cracked a few gags.
“It's quite an amazing turnout and it really makes me think that if a bomb went off in this room”, Russell delivered with a pause worthy of his actors“... British television would just carry on.”
There were audible groans. Those that weren’t offended by this being pretty close to both the ninth anniversary of the Manchester Arena bombing and the 30th anniversary of the 1996 IRA bombs were absolutely livid at the idea they weren’t integral to the future of broadcasting.
Spotted: Sam Smith at a pub garden in Hampstead, being chased down by staff because his card had been rejected at the bar.
>> Big Question <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Staff might moan about being forced to come into the office now but back in the day it was worth it for the IRL gossip. One particular legendary PR figure once called in to ask her team for a favour one morning. She needed someone to book an appointment at a private Harley St clinic because she'd "shagged Seal" the night before and he had "left his condom inside her".
Local residents in Chicago have started a campaign to change the name of the street that Trump Tower is on to ‘Barack Hussein Obama Avenue’ and are already racking up the signatories.
[See the petition]
>> Badenoch Strikes Again <<
Austerity sized portions?
Kemi Badenoch was spotted out for lunch with a GB News exec this week.
If she was attempting to court him for some better press, her table manners might need brushing up.
Having finished her own bread roll, Kemi proceeded to lean over the table to scran said editorial director’s own bit of focaccia, nicking it right off of his plate.
Which is a heavy-handed metaphor for being hungry for power, even by our standards.
Nominative Determinism of the Week: Kerrie Gardiner, manager of the show Gardens at Bloom (the Irish equivalent of Chelsea Flower Show).
>> Fingers In The Pike <<
A wellness check
It happens to the best of us, but we can’t help but wonder if Rosamund Pike is having a teensy bit of a mid-life crisis.
She recently joined TikTok by showing everyone how to finger a pineapple (long-time readers will remember Fatman Scoop teaching fans on YouTube about fingerbanging with a canteloupe so likely to sign up immediately).
She’s also starring in Ladies First, which appears to be the worst film ever made. The plot? Sasha Baron-Cohen wakes up in a Barbie-style parallel world dominated by women...
And, despite telling interviewers only three years ago “I think we’re all being conned by the wellness industry”, Ros is now headlining a big wellness-inspired summer festi. The Fari Islands Festival, no less. With “music, wellness, gastronomy, art and marine conservation” at the Ritz-Carlton, Maldives.
We can’t wait. Just don’t get caught texting.
We’ve just celebrated the 21st anniversary of Brian Harvey running himself over in his own car – an incident he blamed on having eaten too many baked potatoes (big ones with cheese and tuna, incidentally).
>> Throwback Thursdays <<
Nat and Nic fight the good fight
Besides perhaps Kate Moss, Jimmy Savile and Paul Danan - for wildly disparate reasons - no celeb figures of the 21st century were as central to early Popbitch lore than the Appletons of All Saints.
Not just gossip fodder (although Nicole being born with a vestigial tail was one of the best urban legends we ever accidentally propagated) they were just brilliant at being celebrities.
A skill not dimmed by time. Nat and Nicole are back as a duo, complete with new music and summer of gigs. In interviews they’ve already revealed that Natalie has never even read her own autobiography (let alone written it) and that she almost dated Kevin Spacey. Or at least, almost went as his date to American Beauty, on the grounds he was a massive All Saints fan and asked her and they thought it would help break America.
“Honestly”, said Nat “If I could do the nineties again, even with all the bad parts, I would”.
Chrissie Hynde really doesn’t like people using their phones at gigs. Or, in her words: “It reminds me of monkeys wanking in full view of the people standing around their enclosure. (And frankly, in that case, people deserve to be wanked at because monkeys should not be in an enclosure in the first place). However, an artist on a stage?”
>> Smear Campaign <<
Cross-Atlantic woes
The Daily Mail’s US office has been left reeling from a lawsuit brought by a reporter alleging harassment, bullying and more by their money section editor.
But, as the old cliche goes, when America sneezes, Britain catches a cold. The Sun has been having its own internal battles recently. They just lost a section head after the conclusion of a two-month investigation into bullying. In the past year, six members of the team resigned - including all of the section head’s editors.
In New York, it turned out the harassed reporters were so incensed by management turning a blind eye to misbehaviour and misogyny that they started smearing shit all over the toilet walls. Anyone at The Sun want to confess to doing the same?
The world in 2026 is unstable and insecure. And the oil prices might be too expensive to go anywhere nice this summer. So while you stay at home scrolling get yourself the best digital protection you can.
Top quality, all-around online protection for less - we have 75% off Nord VPN +3 months extra.
[Try it here]
>> Wanging It <<
Sleb high fliers
As the great and good in this world usually fly by PJ, they expect a certain level of VIP treatment when they’re forced to slum it in commercial with the rest of us mere mortals.
And sometimes that VIP treatment goes a bit awry.
LAX airport once royally fucked up the private security screening organised for Vera Wang - on account of the designer travelling with what was described as an “aggressive number of bags”, some of which contained some top secret new designs.
Not ideal when TSA, presumably with no idea who the hell Vera Wang was, stopped her for a random pre-clearance bag check. Of all the bags.
Cue several angry emails and weeks of profuse apologies from the high fliers from the airport’s team.
Olivia Rodrigo’s Cure obsession is ramping up. Robert Smith guested with her at Glastonbury last year, the first single off the new album has the lyrics “you know all the words to Just Like Heaven” and the new single in question is also called ‘The Cure’.
>> Sex Parties <<
Summer has arrived
Despite country-wide political turmoil, Samantha Niblett’s noble quest to cajole Britain into a summer of sex continues this week. She’s hosting a sex party in Westminster.
Alright fine, a sex education party in Westminster.
The MP for South Derbyshire sent out invites to every single address in the Parliament address book this week, inviting staffers from all political parties to an event which promises to, among other things, “tackle incel culture” and “improve conversations around pleasure”.
The event invites everyone to tell Sam how she’s been doing while getting on with the business of “removing embarrassment and shame around sex”.
Good to see someone still has their eye on the ball (s) for the important issues.
The good weather might have disappeared, but fear not - the May Popbitch quiz is here!
Featuring pop culture news and trivia, plus a music round, puzzle, arts & crafts, Who Diss? and ‘can you tell a Bublé from a Bublé Double’ picture round. Plus, of course, all the question and answer sheets if you want to print out and play properly, IRL.
(Psst. The quiz is free for Club Popbitch members, just FYI for June).
>> Hmms <<
Internet bright spots of the week
Urban birds are more afraid of women than men
[Tbf birds are mad]
How Karl Lagerfeld’s cat went broke
[The sad tale of Choupette]
Susan Boyle’s got a new track out with Irn Bru
[In celebration of the World Cup]
A fascinating profile of Gianni Infantino
[On The New Yorker]
Hunter Biden unveils a fantastic 2028 election slogan
[Great crack]
Man dies in glue tragedy after failing to find condom
[A sticky situation]
George Santos bet on George Santos on Kalshi and now the Feds are sniffing into it
[Good luck proving it]
Thanks to: Dom Kaos, Garvan, JD, OA, BS, monstris, CL, theabominablehoman, kerching, Anon, LC, pauline, BS, danceswithmustelids, LMES, monstris, deep_stoat, S, Ra.
Old Jokes Home
I once had a friend who had a job circumcising elephants. The pay was lousy, but the tips were huge.
Still Bored?
This calculator says it will predict how long you have to live. [Cheerful!]