Who Edwards?
#1277
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“Vitriolic, slanderous and utterly compelling” - Virgin Atlantic Inflight Magazine
“Boots has got to be the coolest store ever” - Olivia Rodrigo
* A Bad Day for Keira Knightley
* Liza Takes it Easy
* PLUS: Madonna’s Doggy Bags
Stuff amusing us this week - since 2000. Send us tips & trivia, via email, WhatsApp +44 7923 619540 or DM on Instagram.
>> Inglorious Basterd <<
The prodigal son returns
Despite spending $14 million on a relocation to Tel Aviv last April, all signs point to Quentin Tarantino quietly decamping to London in the past few weeks.
First he was spotted in the third row watching High Noon in the West End in February.
And last week Quentin was back, this time at the Almeida Theatre to see Arty Froushan in the new American Psycho. He seemed to enjoy the show very much, raucously laughing along at most of the jokes.
The only ones he didn’t seem to find funny were the gags at the expense of Donald Trump. During those, Quentin - and the rest of his party - remained absolutely stony-faced.
Original Pussycat Doll Jessica Sutta claims she was nixed from the comeback tour because she’s MAGA. (Specifically, she “aligns” with RFK Jr because she wants to help the “vaccine-injured community”.)
>> Who Edwards <<
Keeping ears to the ground
From Christian Bale starving himself for The Machinist to Austin Butler teaching himself to permanently speak like Elvis, actors have always gone above and beyond when it comes to immersing themselves in a role.
The most recent addition to that cohort? Martin Clunes.
Don’t worry, his preparation for playing Huw Edwards in a new TV biopic didn’t go so method that he became a nonce.
But he did have his ears temporarily pinned back to play the part. Execs and insider press were reportedly very impressed by his dedication. Their only criticism? Martin decided to return to his old ears during his morning TV appearances to promote the show.
CMAT was so obsessed with Eurovision as a kid that she had a poster of Alexander Ryback over her bed.
>> Big Question <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which Labour politician has been having it large on her work-issued credit cards?
Swanky restaurant trips, holidays to the US - you name it, it’s going straight on the company card.
Which would, in fairness, be very funny if the taxpayers weren’t ultimately the company card holders.
Riki Lindhome: Dead Inside at Soho Theatre
An unfiltered glimpse into one woman’s journey through infertility – told with humour, vulnerability, and original songs you’ll hum all the way to your next gynaecologist appointment. Seen in Knives Out, Wednesday, Gilmore Girls, The Big Bang Theory and one half of comedy folk duo Garfunkel and Oates.
[PB exclusive offer - £15 tickets for any show, use promo code PBRIKI]
>> Malta TV <<
KatyCats assemble
From killing nuns in LA to disrupting the ecological sensitivity of the Balearics, one thing’s for sure: if there’s a ridiculous PR crisis somewhere in the world, Katy Perry will somehow find herself at the centre of it.
This time around it’s Malta’s turn.
Katy is headlining an MTV festival in Malta this summer, which is big news for the country. So big in fact that her appearance was leaked long ahead of the planned announcement of her big reveal.
By the Prime Minister of Malta, no less.
He posted an Instagram video revealing Katy’s headline slot on Monday, sending the festival’s press team into meltdown. MTV had to rush out their own social media announcements later that same day.
Perhaps he’s just a huge Katy Perry fan?
James Rothschild - now married to Nicky Hilton - used to have pictures of Timothy McVeigh, AKA the Oklahoma bomber, on the wall of his room at Eton.
>> High Flyers <<
Divas at 40,000 feet
When you’re famous, you fly first class. But when you’re really, really famous, you need a higher standard of aviation.
So when you’re Madonna, you hire a private jet.
She is a regular customer at a company which rents out airplanes to high net worth individuals. But not a particularly valued customer, it seems.
On a recent flight, Madge’s dog defecated all over the jet. Everyone on board absolutely refused to get stuck in and pick up said shit. Resulting in Madonna herself being issued a hefty fine by the company for soiling the carpets.
Next time try BA?
Spotted at Bottarga in Chelsea: Yotam Ottolenghi on a date night, snogging over the tzatziki.
>> Slop Will Eat Itself <<
Conferences just got worse
AI isn’t just coming to fuck up your world. It wants to fuck up its own too.
There is a big academic AI conference planned for December this year, the ominously named NeurIPS 26.
But the organisers have a problem. They are totally inundated with applications to give talks or present papers which have all obviously been written by AI. The organisers’ solution was to ask those submitting to also review five other submissions.
But instead of sorting the human wheat from the robot chaff, it gets worse. Because those reviews are also being done by AI. At some point actual human beings will have to stand up at the conference and present the results of this circular absurdity.
JK Simmons used to voice the animated M&Ms in the adverts, but now he’s in a fight with the makers of the sweet. They want to AI his voice for perpetuity. However, no financial offer has so far persuaded JKS to do it.
>> Parlay <<
News from the shoots
We all have bad days, and - if we’re honest - we’ve all had accidents. But when you’re Keira Knightley and you’re in the middle of a shoot for Burberry, sadly your bad day is a lot worse than the average person’s.
Most of the crew would have been sympathetic to poor Keira being caught short (it happens!) were it not for the fact she’d spent the majority of her time on set before the untimely accident being a bit of a moody cow to the crew.
Their revenge? Whether a tell-all or a tall tale, people have been claiming to anyone who’d listen that Keira had a rather shitty shoot.
Know a more horrendous fashion shoot horror story? Email us: hello@popbitch.com
Pick My Postcode is the UK’s FREE daily lottery. Over half of the UK’s postcodes are now registered, so your neighbours might win some money without you, if you don’t sign up now. Over £3.4 million has been won so far. Probably by your neighbours.
>> Lazy Liza <<
What would Judy say?
With salacious titbits about her marriage to David Gest and affair with Martin Scorsese, it was inevitable Liza Minnelli’s new memoir was going to be a huge success.
So successful, in fact, that the author can’t sign copies of her bestseller quick enough. Luckily, she’s got a sophisticated auto-pen to do it for her.
The only problem? Liza is still claiming the signatures are genuine. Or at least she was, until it was disproven by these guys.
Queue-jumper of the Week: Ronni Ancona, spotted marching to the front of a long line of parched punters in Starbucks. An onlooker said: “Her sense of entitlement was astounding.”
>> Buyers Market <<
True blue Tory organisation
In the market for a new website? Looking for an available URL? You’re in luck!
Kemi Badenoch has not registered her own name domain - and does not currently own kemibadenoch.com.
Which means the domain has been squatted and currently appears to be available for £500.
A bargain for anyone who doesn’t mind being associated with Kemi Badenoch. A steep price for the other nine billion people in the world.
It’s very hard to keep a good magazine alive these days. Sad rumours in the media world are swirling that the latest publication looking at departing the newsstands is the much-loved, once-resurrected seminal fashion title, The Face.
>> Hmms <<
Internet bright spots of the week
Even the squirrels in south London are vaping now
[Get ‘em on the cigs]
Did The Simpsons really predict the future?
[This website fact-checks their historical claims]
Bring out your dead! Reform are cold-calling potential candidates for the next election
[Talk about scraping the barrel]
A loose baby capybara is on the run from a British zoo
[Free my man]
What’s Robyn been up to?
[Read on The Face]
Duffy is making a documentary about how she was kidnapped, trafficked and raped
[Via Variety]
An employee was arrested at Bauer Media’s Dublin offices for possession of €110,000 worth of cannabis
[And you thought London media was mental]
Thanks to: RS, Big Cheese, MC, The Pianoman.
Old Jokes Home
Q: Who is the fattest Knight of the Round Table?
A: Sir Cumference.
Still Bored?
This capybara simulator allows you to live in a peaceful utopia (when you’re not on the run).[You’re welcome]